The sense of safety and security between partners is that comforting foundation of connection, compassion and intimacy.
In session we talk about a ‘Couples Bubble’. Where partners create this space to keep each other safe and secure – a solid ground from where love and passion thrives! It’s something they continually work on together and it only works when both partners give equally.
Some ways of creating and nurturing this ‘Couples Bubble’ is:
- Honour each other’s differences and preferences, neither partner is better than the other. Behaving in way, using words or doing body language that undermines your partner’s preferences can shake the foundation of safety and security, leading to disconnection and mistrust.
- Lean into asking each other for help. Listen to your partner’s words and look out for their body language cue’s to tune into what’s happening for them. Be proactive and ask them.
- Focus on what your partner considers to be safe and secure within the relationship. Sometimes each partner can have different ideas of what this is and what they would like from you, so listen up and take this on board.
- Make your ‘Couples Bubble’ portable, so you both have a safe place where ever you go.
For example, when you both know there’s a challenging social outing to attend. Have a chat beforehand and plan how you will be there for each other at that outing. Talk about ways to stay connected. When you arrive there, select a meeting area where you’ll both agree to meet for a check-in. Use your own personal ‘signals’ that indicate to each other you’d like to meet in your check-in area. You can use signals like; a certain hand gesture, wink of an eye or scratch/pick your nose, whatever! anything that gets your partner’s attention to meet up and have some quiet time together to check-in on each other.
Importantly, each partner is responsible for their end of nurturing and participation in creating and maintaining their ‘Couples Bubble’.
To learn and know more about how to create and maintain a sense of safety and security with your partner, click here to book your Couples or Individual Counselling session with Linda.
