When a relationship ends, it can feel like your world has been turned upside down.
Everything you thought you knew, the routines, the plans you’d made, even the little everyday moments – suddenly feels different.
On top of the heartbreak, there’s often an emotional toll that’s hard to put into words. Your identity can feel like it’s been shaken, as if you’re no longer sure who you are or what life will look like moving forward. Some days you might feel like you’re holding it together, and the next you’re hit with a wave of sadness or anger that takes your breath away. If this sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone. So many people feel this way after a separation, and while it’s painful right now, it will get easier with time.
The journey of finding yourself again isn’t about getting everything “right” straight away – it’s about taking one small step at a time. Here are a few things to help you along the way:
Give yourself permission to heal
You’re going through a lot, so try to be gentle with yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s okay if you’re not moving as quickly as you’d like. Notice when you’re feeling stuck and don’t be afraid to reach out for support – talking to a counsellor or a trusted friend can make a huge difference.
Understand what’s really hurting
It’s not just the relationship you’re grieving; it’s also the future you thought you’d have. Take a moment to notice the emotions that come up most often – is it loss, loneliness, anger, or something else? Being able to name what’s hurting is a powerful step forward.
Surround yourself with the right people
The people around you can really influence how supported you feel. Spend time with those who lift you up, and don’t be afraid to create new connections. Joining a local group, trying a class, or volunteering can help you meet people who make you feel seen and supported.
Take yourself out
When you’re hurting, it’s easy to forget your own needs. Do something kind for yourself – go for a walk somewhere you’ve never been, take yourself out for a coffee, or try that activity you’ve always been curious about. Little moments of joy can help you rediscover the parts of yourself that may have been lost along the way.
Be kind to your self-worth
Breakups can really knock your confidence. Remember, this feeling is only temporary. Counselling, journaling, or joining a group where you can share openly can help you rebuild your sense of who you are.
Look forward, not back
Reaching out to your ex might feel comforting, but it often slows down the healing process. Instead, focus on what you’ve learned and how you want your life to look moving forward.
Rediscover what lights you up
Now is your time to explore. Start a hobby you’ve always been curious about, reignite an old interest, or sign up for a class. These experiences will help you reconnect with yourself and give you something to look forward to.
This isn’t about “getting over it” overnight – it’s about slowly building a life that feels meaningful and true to you. And while it may not feel like it right now, you are stronger than you think, and brighter days are coming.
If you’d like some guidance and support while you navigate this chapter, book in your session, to work towards a future that feels steady, hopeful, and truly yours.
