When you’re going through a separation, it’s so easy to get stuck in survival mode.
You’re dealing with the day-to-day pressures, emotions are running high, and it can feel impossible to imagine what life could look like a few years from now.
But here’s the thing, staying in that headspace keeps you feeling stuck, and it can make co-parenting even more challenging.
Focusing on the future isn’t about ignoring the pain or stress you might be facing right now. It’s about giving yourself and your kids a clear sense of direction, something to work towards. That clarity can make even the hardest decisions feel more manageable.
Looking into the future can be a bit blurry, that’s why it helps by getting clear about what it could look like potentially and what the reality of it is. Grab a pen and paper and ask yourself:
- What do I want my life to be free from in the future?
This might be ongoing conflict, constant stress, financial worries, or unhelpful relationships. Write it all down. Be honest with yourself. Once you’ve finished, set it aside, you don’t need to revisit it. This step is about letting go of what’s not serving you.
Now, focus on what you do want. Ask yourself these questions:
- What do I want to welcome into my life moving forward? (Think about the things that would bring you stability and happiness, maybe it’s a supportive circle of people, financial confidence, or a calm, steady home environment.)
- Who do I want close to me? (Who are the friends and family members who truly have your back and create a positive influence for you and your kids?)
- What kind of co-parenting dynamic do I want to build? You don’t need to be best friends with your co-parent, but could you aim for a relationship grounded in respect and open, calm communication?
- What do I hope for my children’s future? How would you like them to remember their childhood and the way you and your co-parent worked together?
Keep your answers somewhere you’ll see often. They become a compass for the choices you’ll make moving forward. When conflict starts to creep in or you feel overwhelmed, these questions will remind you of what truly matters and help you refocus.
If this feels like a big leap right now, that’s completely okay.
Co-parenting Counselling can give you the tools and support to find your footing and start building a calmer, more stable future, one that puts your children at the centre.
If you’d like support with this, book in a Co-Parenting Counselling session today.
