When families go through separation, one of the biggest factors impacting the kids isn’t actually the separation itself, it’s the level of conflict they’re exposed to.
If your children have been living in a high-conflict household, where arguments and tension are a daily reality, the separation can sometimes feel like a relief for them. It can bring a sense of calm and safety that wasn’t there before. But if your family life was generally peaceful and the separation came as a shock, your children may experience more stress and a deeper sense of loss.
Here’s the thing: it’s not unusual for children to struggle either way. And what happens after the separation matters even more. Kids who continue to be exposed to ongoing arguments, hurtful comments, or tension between parents are at a greater risk of anxiety, sadness, or behavioural struggles.
But there’s good news and this is where you come in.
The quality of your relationship with your children can play a huge role in how they cope with the separation. When kids feel loved, heard, and supported by at least one parent, it helps buffer the impact of what’s happening around them. Simple things like one-on-one time, listening without judgment, and reassuring them that they’re not to blame can make a world of difference.
I know it’s not always easy, especially when you’re navigating your own emotions at the same time. But focusing on creating a positive and stable connection with your kids is one of the most powerful things you can do for them right now.
And if you and your co-parent can find ways to reduce the conflict, even just around the children, it will make an enormous difference to their sense of safety and wellbeing.
If you’re struggling with this or want support in learning how to manage co-parenting without the constant tension, book in your Co-Parenting Counselling session.
