Is the lack of sexual intimacy the cause of your arguments sometimes?
Not feeling wanted or appreciated.
In all my years in working with couples I’ve heard things like
‘oh my partner just wants it all the time’ or
‘my partner isn’t interested in me’ and a common one is
‘I get rejected so I stop trying’.
So I work couples to rebuild their intimacy, back to feeling like they belong within their relationship again.
Rekindling that spark isn’t just about sex – it’s about reconnecting on all levels of intimacy.
Over the years, 5 ways I’ve worked with couples in sessions to help them rebuild this are:
1. Talk about it. In neutral space in session, I guide partners to have to share their hurts, frustrations, and rejections.
2. Listen with curiosity. Inviting partners to listen with an open mind and an open heart, to be curious about each other’s wants, and this often goes beyond wanting sex.
3. Avoid judging. Partners learn reframe their words and behaviors that carries across a sense of acceptance and a willingness to try and work on their intimacy. They learn that using guilt, shame or putting pressure on their partner only creates more hurt than intimacy.
4. Explore Intimacy. Partners learn about different kinds of intimacy, there’s sexual, emotional, intellectual, experiential, recreational and spiritual.
5. Practice different ways of intimacy. By this stage partners get an understanding that it takes ‘consistent emotional connection’ to begin with, to help create and sustain their sexual intimacy.
