Knowing who we are first is one of the most important parts of sustaining relationships with others.
Finding love can preoccupy some people’s thoughts and possibly become their ultimate goal in life. As though believing that someone will complete them, make them whole and validated.
We all are whole and complete just as we are.
For us to be in union with another all begins with feeling that true connectedness within ourselves first.
If one doesn’t know, understand nor value their own sense of self, nor embrace their own true identity, what level of connection and fulfilment do they feel from within an intimate relationship?
Knowing who we are and loving ourselves before seeking love from someone else is one of the most important parts of sustaining relationships with others and within an intimate relationship.
Here are some strategies I teach when mentoring single women and single men. To help expand their awareness of their self and to help them prepare their internal solid foundation where they feel safe and secure, to then create fulfilling relationships with others and a future partner.
1. Know your own identity and values.
When you have a clear understanding of who you are, your values, and what you want out of life, you’re going to have more clarity on what you want from relationships.
Identifying your core values and what’s truly important to you will help you align with other people you want to seek out relationships with, including an intimate partner.
2. Cultivate self-compassion and self-acceptance.
Self-compassion plays a significant role in embracing vulnerability and self-acceptance. Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness. Instead of being overly critical or judgmental, practice self-compassion by recognizing that you are worthy of love, respect, and acceptance, just as you are.
3. Honour your emotions.
Embracing vulnerability means embracing all of your emotions, everywhere in between from the greatest parts of you to the ugly parts, we all have them. Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions without judgment or shame. Honouring your emotions and being open to vulnerability can lead to deeper self-awareness, connection with others and for your personal growth.
4. Setting Boundaries.
Placing healthy boundaries is like establishing benchmarks for your emotional well-being and ensures that you are respected and valued for your true self. It is okay to say ‘no’ and honour being aligned to your values and needs.
5. Seek Support.
Surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding people who genuinely care about you can certainly help you embrace yourself, just as you are. Reach out to people who have your bests interests at heart, friends, family, therapists who create a nurturing space for you to feel welcome into.
6. Embrace Change and Growth.
Learning about yourself is an ongoing process. Embrace the fact that discovering your true self is not a destination but a continuous journey of growth, even through the really tough times. Be open to change, be willing to step out of your comfort zone, and embrace new opportunities that come your way. Allow yourself to evolve and adapt as you gain new insights and perspectives about yourself.
Finally, trust your intuition. Listen to your inner voice and tune into your gut instincts, they’re your internal compass that guides you to what is best for you.
Remember, the journey of learning and self-discovery takes time and patience. Embrace this process, celebrate your growth, and trust that by embracing your true identity, you are opening yourself up to a love that is authentic, fulfilling, and transformative. When you truly feel self-acceptance of who you are, you’re creating a safe and secure place within from where you can create healthy, loving and fulfilling relationships with others.
Need help to explore how to strengthen your sense of self?
If you are seeking to work through areas where you’re stuck and wanting to rediscover who you are, reach out to work with Linda Kelly, Relationship Coach.
Linda provides: ‘Ways towards a Loving Relationship’ program, ‘Couples Coaching’, ‘Women’s Coaching’ and ‘Men’s Coaching’.
About Linda…
Linda is a Mentor and Educator in the areas of relationships, love and intimacy. Linda helps Couples and Singles to have loving and heart-based relationships from a foundation of compassion and presence. Having helped people from all walks of life, from diverse backgrounds to various life situations, Linda understands the complexities and challenges that people experience in relationships.
Based within the gorgeous Redcliffe Peninsula region, Brisbane Australia, Linda offers in-person and online Zoom sessions, both Australia-wide and Internationally.
To know more about visit About Linda
